relationships

Where can we find the perfect partner who will love us constantly with perfect love? Only in the God of love who made us. His creative design for humans is that we find fulfilment – whatever may be our principal activities – only when we are in harmony with him.

The great tragedy of world history was when sin made its entry into the human race – as is depicted in Genesis chapters 2 and 3. The first couple rejected God’s order – thinking they could better judge what is right and wrong. (That same mentality reigns in many today who set aside God’s infinitely wise guidelines – his commandments – and try out some new man-made ethics).

With the arrival of sin twisting the hearts and perverting the actions of the first couple, their marital harmony was damaged, and this continued down the generations to our day. Hence any life-partner that a man or a woman might find, turns out to be vitiated by an indwelling tendency to selfishness rather than love, to rebellion rather than union, to pride and anger rather than sweetness of temper. Such unloving traits render marital bliss a great challenge to accomplish – though mercifully, by learning to overcome one’s selfishness and to forgive one’s partner’s failures, it is possible for reasonably happy families to exist!

Human hearts nevertheless often suffer from the lack of that steadfast love which ministers to our inner hunger of soul. People still long for a deep and enduring harmonious relationship and can spend their lives unsuccessfully trying to find the perfect partner. Of course the children from such broken relationships begin their lives with a kind of handicap in the area of love and trust. To prevent such harm is one of the reasons why God is against adultery. God is also against adultery because unfaithful lovers do not reflect as they should the loving harmony of God’s own Trinitarian relationship. We were made in his image so as to show forth his divine kind of love, and our inability to do so grieves God, brings distress to ourselves, and trouble to our nearest and dearest.

In the midst of our depressing failure, however, there is a gleam of hope, for true fulfilment of our passion for love can come when we know in our experience that God loves us very, very much.

Ultimately, the only truly satisfying relationship of love is for us to be in a harmonious relationship with God (as Adam and Eve were in Paradise before sin interrupted their blessedness). We can turn to God and find in him the forgiveness of our failures and an assurance of his eternal love as we enter into spiritual union with Christ. This is the essence of what Christians call salvation from sin: to be loved despite our wretchedness and to be assured of God’s full forgiveness. That is the relationship we were made for. It alone provides true human fulfilment.

So how can a person get that? What we have to do is, first of all, realise how much our sin is serious before God; we really have no idea – that’s why we need the Bible to enlighten us. Then we need to realise how great the love of Jesus, God’s Son, was, in coming into our sinful world to seek and save us from all the pains that sin has brought on us. Then we need to open our hearts to Him, inviting him to wash us clean, be our dearest friend and helper, and confirm his love to us. He promises to do just that!

Clive Every-Clayton

What contributes most to human happiness? Surely loving relationships must come high, if not first, on the list. Of course, good health, sufficient finances, and a decent place to live contribute a lot to our happiness. But the Good Book says, “Better is a poor meal where love is than a great feast with hatred” (c.f. Proverbs 15.17). To experience true love is joy of a deep kind that seriously boosts our level of happiness.

The search for true love is therefore a big part of our existential quest, for human relationships can be the source of great pleasure if they are good; however, they can be the cause of much pain if they are bad. Either way, they are an intricate part of everyone’s existence and the object of the deepest human longing.

The first difficulty, of course, is finding that special someone to love. But even when he or she is found, the next difficulty is putting up with their negative traits! The problem is that whoever we love, they are never 100% good, kind, loving, faithful, truthful etc. all the time. Not only that, they see and criticise our faults too!

What the human heart really yearns for is to find a perfect partner with whom we could enjoy a deep and lasting relationship of mutual love. Have you ever wondered why we so long for that? It is certainly not because we have evolved to want to pass on our genes to the next generation: such a ridiculous suggestion demeans our human nature and debases the whole concept of love. No: rather, our passion for love issues from our having been created in the likeness of a God of passionate love.

Why does Christianity alone declare that “God is love” (1 John 4.8)? Because it reveals a Triune Godhead where Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have existed forever in a relationship of love. Jesus said that the Father loves the Son and that he loves the Father; and the Spirit of God sheds abroad God’s divine love in the hearts of believers (John 5.20, 14.31, Romans 5.5). So love is of the very essence of God. He did not need to create in order to have someone to love; the love within the persons of the divine Trinity was totally fulfilling. He created humans capable of love so that he might have the pleasure of loving them and receiving love from them. This is one of the key reasons for our existence – we are designed so as to enjoy a loving relationship with God. If we do not experience that we suffer dysfunction!

Not that God is against human love: he grants us also the relative joy of loving human relationships. Having created Adam, he insisted it was not good for him to be alone, because he was a loving person with no companion. So God instituted marriage and created Eve. Before they sinned, their relationship was a wondrous reflection of the loving relationship between the three persons of the Trinity. In that relationship, that first couple which was truly human like we are, was able to enjoy the gift of sexual union according to God’s intention and have a family, with a third little human to love and which would return their love. Thus the love of the Trinity would be even better reflected.

So love is so vital for us because we are image-bearers of a God of love. But full satisfaction in love can only come from a loving harmonious relationship with our loving Creator and saviour.

Clive Every-Clayton

Tag: relationships

Relationship with God?