Relationships

What contributes most to human happiness? Surely loving relationships must come high, if not first, on the list. Of course, good health, sufficient finances, and a decent place to live contribute a lot to our happiness. But the Good Book says, “Better is a poor meal where love is than a great feast with hatred” (c.f. Proverbs 15.17). To experience true love is joy of a deep kind that seriously boosts our level of happiness.

The search for true love is therefore a big part of our existential quest, for human relationships can be the source of great pleasure if they are good; however, they can be the cause of much pain if they are bad. Either way, they are an intricate part of everyone’s existence and the object of the deepest human longing.

The first difficulty, of course, is finding that special someone to love. But even when he or she is found, the next difficulty is putting up with their negative traits! The problem is that whoever we love, they are never 100% good, kind, loving, faithful, truthful etc. all the time. Not only that, they see and criticise our faults too!

What the human heart really yearns for is to find a perfect partner with whom we could enjoy a deep and lasting relationship of mutual love. Have you ever wondered why we so long for that? It is certainly not because we have evolved to want to pass on our genes to the next generation: such a ridiculous suggestion demeans our human nature and debases the whole concept of love. No: rather, our passion for love issues from our having been created in the likeness of a God of passionate love. 

Why does Christianity alone declare that “God is love” (1 John 4.8)? Because it reveals a Triune Godhead where Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have existed forever in a relationship of love. Jesus said that the Father loves the Son and that he loves the Father; and the Spirit of God sheds abroad God’s divine love in the hearts of believers (John 5.20, 14.31, Romans 5.5). So love is of the very essence of God. He did not need to create in order to have someone to love; the love within the persons of the divine Trinity was totally fulfilling. He created humans capable of love so that he might have the pleasure of loving them and receiving love from them. This is one of the key reasons for our existence – we are designed so as to enjoy a loving relationship with God. If we do not experience that we suffer dysfunction!  

Not that God is against human love: he grants us also the relative joy of loving human relationships. Having created Adam, he insisted it was not good for him to be alone, because he was a loving person with no companion. So God instituted marriage and created Eve. Before they sinned, their relationship was a wondrous reflection of the loving relationship between the three persons of the Trinity. In that relationship, that first couple which was truly human like we are, was able to enjoy the gift of sexual union according to God’s intention and have a family, with a third little human to love and which would return their love. Thus the love of the Trinity would be even better reflected. 

So love is so vital for us because we are image-bearers of a God of love. But full satisfaction in love can only come from a loving harmonious relationship with our loving Creator and saviour.

Clive Every-Clayton